I agree with with everything Hopeworks said completely. I think you summed it all up in your subject, "Lifes too short for it too be this hard."
I also used to think the alternative of my XAH not getting better was too much to bare. Then I realized that the reality of what my life had become, should I choose to take a hard realistic look, was even harder to swallow. For me, I knew a life on this rollercoaster was not for me and I chose to go down the scary path of one on my own - one I always thought I could NEVER forge. While I understand that this isn't the path for everyone, the smartest thing I FINALLY did was to stop pretending he was magically going to beat this.
I wish you love and support on your journey. Apologies if this is harsh - Some of the best advice I received here at SR when I first joined was the same exact advice I did not want to hear.
XOXO