Originally Posted by
jstar 
hello
i'm new here to these boards. have enjoyed reading other's posts tonight before deciding to post myself.
i don't admit to being an alcoholic or not one...just yet. i've had a whirlwind of a year and some days I think I have issues and others I just think I'm overreacting. Although it's starting to hit me....my husband told me two days ago (when I was complaining that he hadn't gone out to a birthday party for a mutual friend to a bar with me over the weekend) that he doesn't like to be around me when I'm drinking. He says that I act different and he never knows which "wife" he will get. I've tried to understand this. I've never been one of the people who drinks and gets violent or crazy. I always thought that I was the "fun" one when I was drinking! He says I'm loud and that it's not as amusing as I think it is in my "drunk" perspective.
i don't know what kind of advise i'm looking for really. A little about me, I'm 31, I own my own business which i work about 10-15 hrs a day. I have 4 kids from 12 down to 3...we are busy...all the time. i drink, pretty much every day. I like to go out with my girlfriends because my husband says that he doesn't want to go anywhere where people may be drinking.
i guess i'm just trying to figure out life...aren't we all?
thanx
Thought I'd go back to my first thread I wrote here on SR, reflecting back as I think more on the 90/90 thread I posted early this morning. Over a year later since my first post here, i'm still trying to rationalize my drinking. I think this goes along with what they read at the beginning of almost every AA meeting i've been to.
I'm searching for the "easier, softer way"....guess i'm still looking for it.
The only things I really see in my posts from then to now that is different is that now i'm 32 instead of 31....and my drinking has progressed to worse outcomes than I had to show for in the past. Even though i've been more careful with my drinking (trying to moderate...from vodka to beer, or from vodka to rum...switching drinks...telling myself only to have 2 drinks instead of 10...staying away from parties...etc etc.) It still haunts me every day...
...sigh....I sooooo don't want to live my life like this forever
