I can only share a story that I admire and find strength in.
A girl I met recently is in a similar situation. Her husband was gone from her life for 4 years and has returned back to our area, clean and sober for a year and working a program. He has been working on his relationship with his daughters and showing he can be trusted. They are also attending marriage counseling.
She has been dating him (no sex), and they spend family time together. When he asked for a key to the house for emergencies or to help out when no one was home, she struggled with it but in the end said no.
When his addiction became obvious and he spiraled out of control, she says she had a nervous breakdown and had to take 2 months off her job and she had to have her mom come and help with the kids. She worked on herself for 4 yrs (and continues to do so) and became healthier and stronger. When he reentered her life, old triggers came back. She said it was like "almost" starting over on her recovery path.
She is very happy dating him. She enjoys the relationship they have as a family and is being very cautious. She explained to me what I did not know - there a triggers times in an addict's recovery. (I think that is what it is called). I would like to ask a recovery addict more about that but I don't want to seem like I am focusing on his addiction but I think its important information to know when making decisions).
She has a strong faith in God and believes God will let know her know when and if the time is right. Any doubt, is a big NO.
Take what you want from this... it's just her story. There are just no guarantees with an addict or anyone for that matter. I am learning that's why it is so important to take care of ourselves. No expectations of others!