Where To Find Help
I have a unique compulsion and addiction but just as soul destroying as alcohol or drugs. I go on the same binges and suffer the same regrets and promises to myself to never do it again.
I believe even though it does not involve any intake of food or substance into my body I am so ill that I can hardly take care of myself. I was once a highly educated professional, an athlete - my wife and I spending all free time in vigorous outdoor recreation. We used to travel 4 months out of the year and I was OK functioning even though I have severe childhood wounds.
This past 5 years an old anxiety disorder surfaced as has my addiction (never really quit) but the more physically ill I became the more I did my addiction.
This must be bottom because I seldom leave my home - I am critically ill but nothing the doctors can find and I feel literally near death or if the pain does not stop I may have to chose that option.
I am near 100% dysfunctional and tortured
I have two therapist that I am working with but not getting anywhere
I need HELP !! I don’t totally fit the regular addiction forums but I need a friend and I need help to survive and find a way out of this - someone or ones who understand and have been to the bottom....I am pretty damn scared.