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Old 05-25-2012, 08:17 AM
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Where To Find Help

I have a unique compulsion and addiction but just as soul destroying as alcohol or drugs. I go on the same binges and suffer the same regrets and promises to myself to never do it again.

I believe even though it does not involve any intake of food or substance into my body I am so ill that I can hardly take care of myself. I was once a highly educated professional, an athlete - my wife and I spending all free time in vigorous outdoor recreation. We used to travel 4 months out of the year and I was OK functioning even though I have severe childhood wounds.

This past 5 years an old anxiety disorder surfaced as has my addiction (never really quit) but the more physically ill I became the more I did my addiction.

This must be bottom because I seldom leave my home - I am critically ill but nothing the doctors can find and I feel literally near death or if the pain does not stop I may have to chose that option.

I am near 100% dysfunctional and tortured

I have two therapist that I am working with but not getting anywhere

I need HELP !! I don’t totally fit the regular addiction forums but I need a friend and I need help to survive and find a way out of this - someone or ones who understand and have been to the bottom....I am pretty damn scared.
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Old 05-25-2012, 08:27 AM
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Tribal,

You are not alone. I too suffer from anxiety. I seldom left my house for nine months due to the inability to drive. I also suffer from insomnia which makes matters worse. I have felt anger, frustration and despair over these issues which only led to further feeding the addiction. I am just starting my sober journey, but I am here for you!
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Old 05-25-2012, 08:35 AM
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Hi and Welcome,

I'm not sure what kind of an addiction you're talking about, and is it the addiction that is making you dysfunctional? Or is it physical pain? If it's physical pain, I urge you to keep trying to find a dr who has an idea to help you. If you're talking about your addiction making you dysfunctional, that's something that many of us experience. I hope you take a look around and keep posting.
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Old 05-25-2012, 08:42 AM
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I have a lot of childhood woundings and the addiction comes from that I beleive. The pain is not from a disease or injury but a nervous system racked from years of over compensating and trying to run my addiction on occasion and get away with it......and separating myself from God because I did nto want anyone stopping me
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