SeekingGrowth has a very good point and she has a perspective that is profoundly different than many people here who either are not dealing with an addicted (adult) child or have not experienced the loss of an addicted (adult) child. I don't think it was shared to create fear but it may cause that kind of response in some of those who are already afraid that the worst may happen.
One of the things I had to do to find my own serenity is accept the fact that I have absolutely no control over my son. I have absolutely no right to tell him how he should live his life. And I have absolutely no control over whether his lifestyle/disease will kill him or land him in jail. Once I finally faced my fear......the fear that his lifestyle (and disease) is dangerous and high risk....just like someone who bungie jumps, skydives, climbs Mt Everest......and it could kill him. I was able to find a measure of peace with it.
Just as I have the right to refuse to be tied to my son should he choose to climb Mt Everest, bungie jump or skydive.....I have the right not to share his lifestyle or participate in his refusal to seek recovery. Living under the same roof with an active addict is like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane relying on them to pull the cord to open the chute. That may be ok for some.....but I don't want to do it anymore...been there done that and THAT scares the bajeebers out of me. And poo on anyone who thinks I'm a bad mother for not trusting an active addict in my home.
I think (correct me if I'm wrong SeekingGrowth) that that is what she is trying to help us all understand. We do what we need to do for ourselves. And yes.....something awful could happen.....but we need to realize that WE didn't cause it to happen by asking them to move out. If it happens, it is because of the lifestyle they have chosen and a disease that can cause premature death. It's also important to remember that many times.....it is the loved ones of the addict who die before the addict does.....because they worry themselves into spiritual, mental, and physical sickness.
Acceptance has been the key for me to my own serenity. Do I ever have periods of anxiety? I would be lying if I said I don't.....but most of the time (90%), I am able to live my life, concentrate, work, love, and find contentment in my own life. To lose myself in my son's addiction is the tragic loss of two lives.
gentle hugs to all of the mothers and fathers out there
ke