Hey bayliss~
I don't believe this is a hopeless case, maybe you're simply not ready to make a commitment to sobriety. The good news is that you are aware of the problem and investigating the solution. I knew I had a problem years ago, yet I had no interest in giving up on drinking. I lost a lot in my life...all of it due to alcohol. That only caused me to drink more. I thought it couldn't get any worse...Wrong.
Someone on this thread mentioned...fear, that often fear is what drives us to sobriety. This rings true with me or I would still be at it. I drank myself into survival mode. My once comfy life has become a distant memory.
Now I'm nearly old enough to be your mother and I am starting over again from scratch. In my twenties I was extremely successful. Never in a million years would I have imagined myself in this predicament at this point in my life.
I am really pulling for you bayliss. You are a smart young woman with so much opportunity ahead of you. Imagine where you want to be at 30, 40, and so on. This is the time that you begin to mold your future. That's the beauty of your self-awareness and the fact that you want to make a positive change that will significantly dictate your future.
I may get yelled at for this comment but I don't think AA is more powerful than your own true desire and will to quit drinking out of pure love for yourself. I feel the same for Doctors, therapists, rehab centers, etc.. The effort comes from you no matter what help you seek.
I hope you stick around...this feels like a pretty safe place to be:ghug3