I walked away from speed (Aderol, Ritalin, crystal meth, etc...) when my son was born in 2006. I made a decision to never do that stuff again. I couldn't stand the monster I was turning into, paranoid, schizo, sleep for days...etc...I really wanted to be a good father in my heart of hearts.
In 2009, after managing my life with alcohol for some time I found myself putting that stuff back in my body....tenfold, no quantity of any combination of amphetamines and cocaine could take me back to that place it used too...I couldn't seem to get right anymore. Plus, I would always over shoot the mark, then I'd have to load up with morphine and other sedatives to come back down, then over shoot that mark...like a yoyo. I tried everything, treatment centers, promises, therapy, prescription meds from my doctor, you name it I did it, even the gym and a whole bunch of health food...anything to divert my primary purpose from drugs...and it never worked...at least not for good.
Middle part of 2009 I was separated from the drugs one more time and somehow made it back to a 12 step fellowship before my mind was able to convince me I should medicate again...in the rooms of those 12 step fellowships I found a different type of Medicine...the Ultimate Medicine...never have to worry about a drink or a drug again; it's with me 24/7 keeping me safe and protected. You can have some too
