Sounds like you need a sure-fire, 24/7, set it and forget it recovery plan that can't fail - I needed that for booze. Drugs were my drug of choice - ie, I could choose to use them and choose to stop. I stopped. Alcohol was my drug of NO-CHOICE, I'd choose to not-drink and I'd drink anyway.
Recovery is available. I'd be checking out the 12-step area
HERE and posting what's going on with me and see who has not only been there, but what are they doing now and what did they do to overcome it.