Oh akalacha sorry you had a tough time on your b-day. Belated congrats - regardless of what your A thinks/doesn't think, it is a day for you to celebrate being in this world, and knowing that some day your world will be a happy place again.
Birthdays have always sucked in my house too. For a few years AH completely over-compensated for being a sh*** husband by going completely over the top and spending a fortune.
Last year, as his illness had progressed so much, I figured it would be a non-event. I shipped myself off to my family & friends for the weekend, and surrounded myself with people who care about me. AH had begged me to come home a bit earlier on the Sunday so he could bring me out to dinner. What did I do? I fell for his BS, and came back late Sunday afternoon to find him passed out in his own pi** on the couch, with an unsigned card (manky cheap one from the local crappy shop) beside him.
Someone remind me why 16 months later I'm still there????????????