Are there any men here w/AW?
I just registered here, but have read a lot of the threads. It seems I am very outnumbered. Most of the threads seem to be about wives with AHs. I guess alcoholism is more lopsided towards men? I can almost reverse all the stories I read about AH's. But it still seems different. I have not been Married long. I want my Marriage to succeed! My Wife is finally getting the help she needed. I thought "I could fix her". I was wrong. And when she/we hit bottom, it was not a pretty scene. I just need somebody to talk to soooo bad. The things I saw my wife do when she was drunk I can not get out of my head. I CAN forgive it, and I *think* I have. But I cant forget. I wake up in sweats or crying. I start crying out of nowhere without any control over it. I don't know how to handle it any more. We aren't even living under the same roof because the thing that happened ended in me getting a restraining order against her. I have since tried to lift it (we ARE going to try and make this work!) but it can't be lifted now until she finishes out-patient, and anger management. So it really sucks! We can't really talk the way I would like. Going home to an empty house sucks, and an empty bed is worse, which is why I think I keep having so many nightmares. I am just so lost right now. I love this woman more than anything, and I am willing to forgive everything. But I don't know if I will ever trust her. But I WANT to. And I BELIEVE I can. But my nightmares tell me different. I cant even finish this right now, I am too upset to go into everything I wanted to. Maybe tomorrow.