Muffinhead, I'm worried for you. Your last two posts scream out that you are miserable in your sobriety and it shouldn't be that way. I'm not going to presume what you are or aren't doing in your recovery, as I don't know. But you do. If you are working a solid program and still carry around guilt, anger, resentments, could it be an underlying problem? Depression or something that has nothing to do with your alcohol use?
Wishing you peace of mind.