Mine was actually realizing I was not the only one with a problem. No matter how hard I tried to fix myself, and work my own recovery (and thus "fix" the relationship). Alcohol was part of the three legged stool in my relationship.....and constantly attempting to tip me/us over.
It took me five years to get into Al-anon. I was "hooked" at the first meeting. The only regret I have about it is that it took me so long.
Detachment and the Three Cs right now are feeling the most powerful to me.
I am heading to my meeting right now and can't wait to hear how yours went.