So sorry sweettee.
It sounds like you have an amazing 13 year old son. Hugs to the little one, hope she is on the road to recovery.
Keep the focus on you and the kids, the AH is going to do what alkie's do.
I often wondered if it's the disease that makes them so selfish, or is this part of who they really are.
I read on these boards " Often we give to much credit to addiction" That really hit home for me, got me thinking, and I realized he was a selfish and self centered long before alcoholism took over his world.
Sending you support. You are not alone.