Originally Posted by
Fallow 
Thanks guys. You know I feel like Im so close to sobriety mentally that Im almost sure Id have done it this time. I guess I let my emotions get the best of me. I just found out my father is sick with cancer recently about 2 weeks ago. Thought I was handling it well..then some extra stress at work coupled with an upcoming long weekend and I caved. Went to the store got a half pint of remy vsop and a sixer of microbrews. I drank 3 beers and a half of the half pint while listening to some music late at night and alone. Woke up today no hangover actually feel great, I know my problems will always be here for me but other than guilt it was nice to dissolve them for awhile. I know I gotta get back on the sobriety train soon but not today..I dont know what my plan looks like yet.
Oh, I can identify with drinking for oblivion alone.
Drinking when it was all too much.
I feel now that it was so selfish of me.
I learned though that I also have this compulsion to drink alcohol to change the way I feel.
What would be a healthier way to change the way you feel Fallow?
What would be a choice that would not harm you and others?
I am sorry to read of your return to drinking because I know how you tried and so I just hope you resume your efforts to solve this problem...to take the steps to improve your chances at long term sobriety.