Hi guys, thank you so much for your wonderful support.
Yes, I did it. Think I spent so much of the evening on the edge of my seat in a sort of red alert status, that there was no way I would have caved.
I don't feel elated though this morning, just kind of sad that I know how much my life will need to change. I was just like an observer last night. I couldnt relax or participate. Everyone was drunk and the longer the evening went on, the louder and more incoherent they became, and the less I felt comfortable. That was how I was just a few weeks ago. The realisation of how far I have moved away from that really hit me.
I don't belong here any more.
Trouble is, I'm not sure where I do fit in.
Don't be mad at my husband Hollyanne. He is an alcoholic and a good man. He has no idea of my struggles last night and I worry about him, and hope he will soon face his demons. The texts I had last night certainly suggested they too were blissfully drunk and happy.
I don't want this life any more. Waking up in a strange bed on a Sunday morning wishing I was at home, but knowing home at the moment isn't mine cos it's full of hungover guys.
The whole event has left me really unsettled.
Where do I belong now? It certainly isn't in the life I have now.
Sorry for rambling guys. The whole point of the message was to let you know that thanks to you I didn't drink. Onwards and upwards xxxx