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Old 05-11-2012, 12:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Another test


Tomorrow night will be a test to my sobriety.
I'm going over to my sister in laws for a girls night in. She is unaware of my difficulties with the bottle, and I haven't told her I've quit. She's not somebody I choose to confide in. Her husband and mine are brothers and big drinkers and will be at my house so there's no way of getting out of this.
I'm fairly confident that I will be able to resist but the wine will be flowing so I've got to work out a strategy of how I'm going to deal with this.
At the moment I'm just thinking of saying that I'm unable to drink because it has made me feel unwell recently and doesn't react well with medication I'm taking. This is in part the truth anyway.
This night has been planned for months and has always been at the back of my mind as potentially being a problem.
Shame I won't be able to spend the eve checking in on SR cos that would keep me strong!
I know I shouldn't really go but staying at home isn't an option for me either as this place will full of very drunk men!
Think it's going to be a very long evening!
Wish me luck!
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Old 05-11-2012, 12:28 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Take a six pack of bottled water with you...Always have one in your hand. Make sure you have your own vehicle or a way out....If it get's bad...Say you don't feel well and you have to go. You don't need to make a big deal about why you aren't drinking....Try and have fun and don't drink...If you're not having fun...Leave.
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Old 05-11-2012, 12:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Bring some sparkling mineral water and/or sparkling grape juice or apple cider. That's how i get through Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. I use the medication excuse since my stuff says specifically that i'm not allowed to drink. Good luck!
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Old 05-11-2012, 12:47 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Can you come on here before you go out and when you get back Jeni?

If you're well prepared and confident then it shouldn't be a problem, make sure you have plenty of drink and food with you so people don't think you're depriving yourself... but if you feel like you really don't want to go make an excuse and go somewhere else away from drinking people.

Good luck x
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Old 05-11-2012, 12:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hey Jeni - I'll be thinking of you and rooting for you.
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Old 05-11-2012, 12:54 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Sapling, Hypo - She doesn't have an escape plan - its in her house!

I think the medication you're on is good cover. I do think your husband should be a bit more understanding of you in early sobriety and not host a drinking party like this. JMHO. Have you told him you are not going to drink and does he support you on this?
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Old 05-11-2012, 12:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Sapling, Hypo - She doesn't have an escape plan - its in her house!

I think the medication you're on is good cover. I do think your husband should be a bit more understanding of you in early sobriety and not host a drinking party like this. JMHO. Have you told him you are not going to drink and does he support you on this?
I think it's at her sister in laws house....Her house has all the drunk men...If I felt I was going to lose my sobriety over that mess....I'd check out and go to a meeting...Or a movie. Or a bookstore.
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Old 05-11-2012, 01:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I'm staying there overnight as the guys will all be drinking all night and crashing out at mine, so returning isn't an option.
I will have my phone so will be able to step outside for a cigarette at points in the evening and get onto SR as a top up to my sanity I hope!
Will take soft drinks with me and try to relax through it. I think it's the fact I am stuck there which is worrying me most!
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Old 05-11-2012, 01:00 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Good suggestions.

I haven't been drinking at dinners or parties since I stopped. I have had more than one of my good friends ask me if I was pregnant. :-) Seems that is the only time I never drank in social situations.
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Old 05-11-2012, 01:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I'm staying there overnight as the guys will all be drinking all night and crashing out at mine, so returning isn't an option.
I will have my phone so will be able to step outside for a cigarette at points in the evening and get onto SR as a top up to my sanity I hope!
Will take soft drinks with me and try to relax through it. I think it's the fact I am stuck there which is worrying me most!
You got yourself into a good one Jeni...I had a family reunion I had to go to...I got some alkies in my family....I was a little over a month sober....I brought my Big Book with me and I prayed a lot....If I had to lock myself somewhere and read....That's what I did...I got through it. Do what you got to do. Just know you can't put anyone or anything in front of your sobriety. Drinking is not an option. Check on here when you can....I think you'll be alright....I think you want this.
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Old 05-11-2012, 01:11 PM   #11 (permalink)
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By the way...You don't have to go somewhere and get on your knees to pray...You can pray anywhere....I'd have someone talking to me about something and I'd be looking right at em and I'd be praying. I hope you pray. It helps.
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Old 05-11-2012, 01:29 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Thanks. Am pretty sure I will be fine. I'm 5 weeks sober and don't ever want my life to go back to the way it was.
I have got my big book my phone, and all your support xxxx
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Old 05-11-2012, 01:38 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I think you will be fine, you seem well prepared.
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Old 05-11-2012, 02:06 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Jeni you'll breeze it and feel so good.
You have done the hard work .
Good luck .
John.
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Old 05-11-2012, 02:24 PM   #15 (permalink)
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alcohol is a subtle foe. we can grab a drink from a table and have it in our stomachs in 3 seconds, so, PLEASE!!! be in fit spiritual condition and have an escape route.
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Old 05-11-2012, 02:37 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I know how dangerous complacency can be. I am arming myself mentally and spiritually.
I love being sober. At this time on a Friday night I would usually be incoherent and incapable of standing. Only 5 weeks but that seems a lifetime ago and I don't miss it one bit.
This new life chance I've been given is precious and I'm not letting go of it, not for anything. Wish I didn't have to face tomorrow but I will do it. And I will be even stronger afterwards.
Thank you all xxx
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Old 05-11-2012, 02:50 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I was thinking you could bail completely Jeni, if you really didn't want to be there, like stay at another friends house, or parents or something. I'm sure you'll be fine if you want to go, I just know that I get really bad anxiety whenever I am made to do something I don't want to do. And you shouldn't be made to do something you don't want to, especially in early sobriety. I suppose it depends on your definition of something you have to do. I've had no problem bailing out of stuff with friends and family but wouldn't back out of a work thing. You're sounding more confident than you were in your OP though so I'm sure you'll do fine. Just don't doubt yourself xxx
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Old 05-11-2012, 03:00 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Jeni
You sound like you can make it through. Use this opportunity to observe yourself and others without judgments, just watch. See how it is when we drink what happens.

interested In Hearing how it went.
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Old 05-12-2012, 08:42 AM   #19 (permalink)
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I'm starting to get anxious now it's getting close to the evening.
Don't feel as confident as I did yesterday. I can be anxious in social gatherings and my Sis in law has got other women going who I haven't met. It's usually only a few glasses of wine that work to settle the nerves when I get like this.
I'm a bit useless at making polite conversation without alcohol to relax me.
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Old 05-12-2012, 08:44 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Just be yourself Jeni....Do the best you can.
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