oh boy. you sound just like me. the first step is the hardest. go to alanon - shore yourself up. you deserve better than you are getting - you're just so used to being treated like **** that you feel "stuck and stupid". You're not stuck - you can make it on your own. And you're definitely not stupid - you managed to find SR, you know your A is a sick person, and you seem to have the beginnings of making a move to get out. As for someone else scooping him up - hopefully they will - so THEY can take the insults and watch him pee in the closet or the hallway when he thinks it's the bathroom. Let THEM listen to all of his BS when he goes on a bender. I've been down that road with my AH so many times! I'm back into my recovery now and HOW SWEET IT IS! i had forgotten how jouful i could be - how effortless things are when I'm not constantly worried about him and what he will do do or say or think. Let someone else be exhausted by your A - save yourself!