You made a great start already by posting here, JaneDoe. You will find experience, strength and hope out the yinyang here, and some really nice genuine folks too.
After reading this forum for a while, I found a lot of comfort by knowing that there was nothing special about me or about my drinking. To me, that also meant that I could learn from the folks who had shared their journey by posting. I suggest you do that too.
My first step in my journey was to make a plan for my continued drinking. Are you ready to make your plan? There has to be only one answer to that question, JaneDoe, all you have to do is say it.