Last night, with the help from someone, I finally told 4 very important people EVERYTHING. It was something that I didn't think I could do, but boy did it feel great to get it all out. I was scared. I didn't know if they would be supportive or what. People's loyalties lie with those they choose. Well, I am so relieved and grateful that their support is with me. I told them every single detail. I did that because I don't trust him to actually tell them the truth and purposely make me look like the bad guy in all this. Their responses were amazing. They thought I was crazy for not leaving him years ago. I had no idea they felt like that for so long. I did tell them that I don't want them to hate him or yell and scream at him. It's not going to work. He is a ALCOHOLIC. He is sick. He is not the same man he was once upon a time. Alanon meetings are starting for them as well this week.
To actually speak of everything with someone in person really does make me feel better. Their thoughts are the same as mine....the kids. The kids are the main important people in all of this. Him getting help is important but that is something he will have to decide all on his own.
The friends he hangs out with are no good for him. We all agree on that. They saw that before I did. I really was blinded so much by my love for him. Yes, I saw a lot of things that I tried myself to change, but I am seeing soooooo much more now than before.
I thank them so much for being there for me, I need them more than I thought I did.