Have you been to a treatment center? Sounds like that would be the place for you. The people there will help you to understand your problem. You will learn how to stay sober when you are ready to quit, treatment is for people who are looking for away to stay sober they have very good food snacks and classes through out the day 5 days a week 28 day program I went to it my son went to the 90 day program 3 whole months so if we done it so can you my son has slipped a time or 2 but he knows how to stay clean he is doing good now works every day staying busy best thing for us addicts so go see a drug counselor he or she can get you enrolled in treatment for free or for insurance. Hang in there you can do it.