Hi SD
maybe that 'someday I'll get it' stuff is part of the problem?
I really believe we're in charge here - we get out of our recovery what we put into it.
You can make today your last day one - if you really want it.
I really believe that too...
If what you've been doing so far keeps leading you back to the same place, maybe it's time to up the stakes and try doing something different?
D