Originally Posted by sousvide

Oh, and another thing......(I sure hope I don't turn this into a diary and bore you folks, really)

My main reason for concern is my marriage. HOWEVER, another reason, right up there, that is a big and getting bigger is this.

My business is going full force right now. After YEARS and YEARS of working my butt off,
ALWAYS two full time jobs, and for 4 years 3 JOBS, two full and a part time, in order to TRY and make my wife comfortable (and NOT possesion comfortable, but SAVINGS comfortable. She grew up in a family where SAVINGS for everything, regular, college, retirement, vacation, christmas savings ALL had to be in place.....I didn't grow up like that)honestly trying but failing miserably, I now have a business that provides financially MORE than I ever thought I would make, more than I deserve, really. But we started late in savings and my wife IS STILL TERRIFIED that we will not have enough money to retire. My recurring nightmare is that IF my business goes south (which many do in my line of work) I KNOW that I will NEVER be able to PHYSICALLY........and mentally, really, bounce back with this monkey on my back KILLING...... my work drive after 5 oclock. Staging a comeback, at my age (51), if necessary will take A TON of effort, personal integrity and my old work ethic all of which I don't have right now...one because I am older and two because of my drinking.

I don't know why I keep doubting it.......even with ALL the effort and hard work I put into this biz; how much we suffered getting here, I am JEPORDIZING my ability to do it again if I have to. Im an idiot.....my wife was right all those years. I got a problem.