Yes, I understand the 4 marriages thing red flag, he explained that it was a really bad time (midlife crisis) of hi life, he is not blaming anyone, and he had explanations for each, and his family has confirmed it. In this 17 months with me, he has been consistant, no changes in the way he is, he is not pushing me to do anything I don't want (that's my problem I do not know what I want).
He understands my fears and he wants open communication, he says I am the best relationship he ever had because he sees me trying to be healthy and is much more than many women will want to do.
He did come to the dinner with me and we had a good time. I have fear that now I owe him, that is my disease of codependency, I always feel like I have to pay back every nice or bad thing people do to me.