I used to think that too J41 - 'just one night - I'll blow the cobwebs out then go back to not drinking'.
It
never works like that - add alcohol to me and I go
insane.
I think you're the same man...
My last 'just one night' lasted 2 years.
You know what your old life was like - theres nothing good there for you - whatever the answers are for you they're up ahead J41...not behind you