I poured a glass of wine and took a sip. I didn't want to drink but found myself doing it anyway. I watched in horror. I closed my eyes and asked for help. I was given just enough strength to pour out the glass and bottle in the sink. I don't know what really happened. I wasn't craving a drink. I was on autopilot. I had one sip only but somehow feel I didn't blow it. I have to amp up my support system. Going to AA meeting at lunch tomorrow since my women's meeting isn't til Thursday. Took my Big Book out of the night stand drawer and placed it next to me on my bed. I don't like the Big Book, too many god references............ Will rewrite a list of reasons why I must stop. There isn't a single reason why I should continue. This is insane.