...in my years of dealing with this disease, I've observed it is often the peole with the highest IQs making the worst decisions.
I think it's because they always think they can fix things no matter what by virtue of their big brains. I'm not kidding-- I have a master's degree and a good job too and I did the same thing.
Some things can't be "thought around or intellectualized" in my opinion, and alcoholism is one of them. It doesn't follow the rules, can't be controlled, and can't be cured. It's just that we, with our "love can heal anything ********" often think we can control it and cure it.
The hardest part for some people I think, is accepting that they can't control it. You say that to some people and it's like you told them their children are ugly and stupid-- they come off the rails-- "how dare you say I have no control over this!" Then they start coming at you with statistics for various treatment programs, counseling, etc., which is so incredibly funny I can barely stand it. Here's a statistic for you-- 87.9 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. They also don't matter at all-- a particular program works for a particular person, or it does not. That's it.
But, I'll say it again, the only people that can control their drinking are people who are not alcoholics, or people who are alcoholics but who:
- Admit they are alcoholics and believe it in their very core.
- Want to quit drinking.
- Find a treatment program, or alternative to treatment programs as some like to call their programs, and commit to it and follow its rules.
Without those two things everything else is a waste of time.
My two cents.
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by
dollydo 
He told you who he is...believe him.
" I am not a stupid woman. I have a masters degree and a good job."
It's really not about your Brain IQ...it is about your Emotional IQ...I know, I have been there. Many here are well educated and/or have good jobs...yet, we still fall for the addicts manipulation...because we think with our heart and not our head. That is what we codependents do, until we work our own recovery program, day in and day out, one small step at a time.
Take some time to read all the stickies at the top of this page and the Family & Friends of Substance Abusers...lots of good information at your fingertips.