Seasidegirllau

Started of the day so well..showered..nice breakfast and the weather was nice so decided on a stroll down to a couple of local beaches, arrived at one beach and saw a Razorbill surfing the waves trying to get out the water, was obvious it was injured so scooped it up and got a box from a local and called the RSPCA..took it home to wait for them to collect the poor little fellow, i thought maybe it had a broken wing. Poor little baby was dithering so its now apparent, and confirmed by the RSPCA guy that it was hypothermia...anyway i put him in my cats carry box with a towel and watched the poor little thing take its last breath a die :-( when the chap from the RSPCA turned up, he showed me the bird had oil on him which meant he couldn't fish for food and regulate his temperature..the guy took him away and i was so sad :-(

The point to my story is the moment it happened, the first thing i thought of was alcohol...why the hell is that...im an avid animal lover so this obviously upset me but in the grand scheme of things it was not exactly a life changing episode so again im left a little pi**ed that the first thought was "drink"...im over it now, i think its just the very fact that the though creeps in...i want to completely erase my mind of alcohol..is this normal..part of the process???

Is it my addictions way of zooming in on me the moment something upsets me ? wow..what a rollercoaster this is hey...xxx