Notices

Always lurking waiting to strike...

Old 04-28-2012, 07:45 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Seasidegirllau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 126
Always lurking waiting to strike...

Started of the day so well..showered..nice breakfast and the weather was nice so decided on a stroll down to a couple of local beaches, arrived at one beach and saw a Razorbill surfing the waves trying to get out the water, was obvious it was injured so scooped it up and got a box from a local and called the RSPCA..took it home to wait for them to collect the poor little fellow, i thought maybe it had a broken wing. Poor little baby was dithering so its now apparent, and confirmed by the RSPCA guy that it was hypothermia...anyway i put him in my cats carry box with a towel and watched the poor little thing take its last breath a die :-( when the chap from the RSPCA turned up, he showed me the bird had oil on him which meant he couldn't fish for food and regulate his temperature..the guy took him away and i was so sad :-(

The point to my story is the moment it happened, the first thing i thought of was alcohol...why the hell is that...im an avid animal lover so this obviously upset me but in the grand scheme of things it was not exactly a life changing episode so again im left a little pi**ed that the first thought was "drink"...im over it now, i think its just the very fact that the though creeps in...i want to completely erase my mind of alcohol..is this normal..part of the process???

Is it my addictions way of zooming in on me the moment something upsets me ? wow..what a rollercoaster this is hey...xxx
Seasidegirllau is offline  
Old 04-28-2012, 07:58 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
candie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: preston
Posts: 197
Awww I can completely understand how you must have felt hun, but take strength in the fact you didn't act on your initial thought x
candie is offline  
Old 04-28-2012, 07:59 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Frenzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 61
Alcohol, the stuff that we used to comfort ourselves with, it takes time to rewire the brain away from that initial idea, best not to kick yourself over it, just pat yourself on the back for resisting, I reckon
Frenzy is offline  
Old 04-28-2012, 08:01 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Seasidegirllau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 126
Yeah i suppose that what we have to keep in mind...as they say these things are sent to test us..the main thing is dealing with it...without turning to the bottle!!! :-)) had a strong coffee instead!! xx
Seasidegirllau is offline  
Old 04-28-2012, 08:01 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
I never liked feelings of "discomfort". I realized early that a couple of beers replaced uncomfortable feelings with absolute confidence and indestructibility.

All the best.

Bob R
2granddaughters is offline  
Old 04-28-2012, 08:05 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Seasidegirllau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 126
Thanks Bob, yes i think we have all been under the illusion that alcohol makes everything better...but it doesnt, it just makes everything 10 times worse!! xx
Seasidegirllau is offline  
Old 04-28-2012, 09:17 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
bayliss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 518
Hey Seaside,
You're not alone. When I had to put my cat down 2 months ago the first thing I did when I left the animal hospital was go out and buy booze and got stupid drunk.
I woke up the next day and the pain "refreshed" - as if I had just left the hospital and had to go through it all again.
I drank quite a lot after that for about two weeks.

I didn't want to feel the sadness. The emptiness. The grief. So the first thing I thought of was alcohol and how it would "help".
Well, the joke was totally on me.
bayliss is offline  
Old 04-28-2012, 09:25 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,329
I just hate seeing animals suffer in any way, especially when it's caused by human beings living our lives.
Anna is online now  
Old 04-28-2012, 09:35 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
sissy07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Aww seaside, your post made me cry! So sad the poor razorbill died, but how lucky he was that you were there to make his last moments as comfortable as they could be. Creatures feel love in ways that most humans don't....and I am sure you made it easier for him. You know what? You were there to help him because you were sober and at the beach, not trying to get over last night's drinking. You did something very responsible and loving because you showed up and cared. THAT is living and contributing to this polluted, crazy world that needs all the help and love it can get. It is relatively early in the day, and you have made a positive difference in the world already. I love it. You must be a wonderful person.
sissy07 is offline  
Old 04-28-2012, 09:51 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Old & Sober Member of AA
 
Jersey Nonny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
A disease of the body mind and spirit...cunning, baffling, powerful.

You were tested, and passed with flying colors!!! Well done!!!
Jersey Nonny is offline  
Old 04-28-2012, 10:42 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
~sb
 
sugarbear1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,951
Our emotions trigger us.
sugarbear1 is offline  
Old 04-28-2012, 10:57 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Seasidegirllau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 126
Hi Bayliss, crazy when we look back and realise the times we have turned to booze for comfort but it was fooling us all the time!!! Thanks jersey..its sure cunning alright..sneaks up on us an takes us by suprise. Sissy..lovely comment, thankyou :-) you are so right, i thought myself that i would not normally have been at the beach at 10 in the morning..no way..id have still been in bed feeling like rubish due to booze!!! Poor lil creature, at least he died in a warm house and not alone at sea cold!! Well its saturday evening here in the UK..time for some saturday night T.V and a cuppa :-) keep focused peeps..i reckon we are all doin grand :-)))))XX
Seasidegirllau is offline  
Old 04-28-2012, 03:36 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
instant
 
instant's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
I am glad you were there and he didn't die alone. I have discovered that all emotional roads eventually lead to alcohol. In retrospect it is now clear to me that alcohol and been corrupting my emotional responses for years. At nearly 12 months it seems to have faded to a point where I think that my heightened emotions, when I have them are real.

I was at the stage a few years ago where I would cry at times when intoxicated and alone. Whilst at the time I would have thought there was a 'reason' for me to do so (eg memories of losses and deaths etc) I now see such episodes as progression of the addiction.
instant is offline  
Old 04-29-2012, 01:07 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Seasidegirllau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 126
Hi instant, i was exactly the same, i would get so drunk and start thinking too deep that all these emotions came to the surface and i would cry like a baby, the next day it almost seemed strange i had got so upset, it was all the beer mixing my head up! I would also make promises to friends, promises i then ended up regretting in the morning, id read texts and it was almost like someone else had sent them, god i so dont miss it, not one bit!! :-)
Seasidegirllau is offline  
Old 04-29-2012, 01:46 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jeni26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,008
That reminded me that the first thing I used to do when I woke up hungover and with little or no memory of the night before was check my phone!!
Oh the anxiety and dread of having to read the texts I sent!
Then having to send texts of apology...

Like you, I don't miss that one bit!!
Jeni26 is offline  
Old 04-29-2012, 02:09 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
candie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: preston
Posts: 197
Originally Posted by Jeni26 View Post
That reminded me that the first thing I used to do when I woke up hungover and with little or no memory of the night before was check my phone!!
Oh the anxiety and dread of having to read the texts I sent!
Then having to send texts of apology...

Like you, I don't miss that one bit!!
Me too!!I used to get tons of texts asking if I was ok, cos i'd texted crap to peeps and they were worried about me
candie is offline  
Old 04-29-2012, 02:10 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Seasidegirllau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 126
And the random telephone conversations at stupid oclock..chatting complete drunken rubbish..which all seems to make sense at the time but in actual fact..is complete nonsense!! I love the fact everything in my life is real and pure..long may it continue hey :-)
Seasidegirllau is offline  
Old 04-29-2012, 11:31 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Re-Member
 
Itchy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Sissy,
That was exactly what happened. Keep thinking that one over and over again Sea, not how it felt to do the drunken things. Those are called mental rehearsals. You are rehearsing bad things and not rehearsing the good things. Think about the fact you were there to witness and comfort and cry all in a short time.

Your life sober makes possible your taking care "OF" another. It also makes it possible for you to take care "FROM" yourself.

Our own lives are like that, they happen all in a short time too. Shame to miss any more of it, no?
Itchy is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:56 PM.