Windblown

I told my spouse " I will not lie to anyone about your addiction anymore, nor will I cover it up." He is now in self-pity, trying to make me feel guilty for being honest with his Mother...who called ME while he was in the hospital all week. He did not have a heart attack he told me to tell everyone he did. But the surgeon asked me if he was withdrawing from amphetamines and I said Yes...did he not tell you,that? The surgeon said he did not, and that his spasms in his heart were caused by drug withdrawals...that he had not had a heart attack and his heart was strong. I did lie to his work buddy but that was before my alanon sponsor told me not to,do this anymore. Progress not perfection. Now my spouse is saying I am making his sobriety harder because I was honest with his Mother. I did not reply to this. I feel like I am going to throw up. I signed up for an apt. today but I have to live here another week. He has threatened suicide, burnt himself on purpose with a curling iron to make me feel bad for him. He is acting al wounded. I am not responsible for his bath salt addiction. I am not responsible for his health. He did this to himself...but somehow he is the wounded one. Does he ask me how I feel? I have been sleeping in the room at the hospital all week, fetching treats up and down the elevator, calling nurses to get him more morphine, and then I found out another big fat whopper of a lie. I am tapped out. I am nervous. I will go to a meeting. I am so tired. He manipulated me to come back from the hotel last week with lies and I fell for them. I am so gullible. But I have the courage with my higher power to remove myself from this 8 year marriage. I found a short term lease. I am not perfect either but I am worn out. I need to take care of myself better.