True this website is easier to go NC to versus the addict...I'm so grateful it is turning the other way for me. I can much more easily avoid contact with him and I find my self spending more time on SR and reading great books.
What you are going through SUCKS. When we are forced to see the person we loved for who they really are...that is gut wrenching when we find out it isn't about the alcohol or drugs they really are abusive, a holes, Liars, etc...
How could I have fallen in love with someone like ths and stayed for so long? It was easier for me to doubt my gut or think I was being a hypercritical demanding Virgo (funny all words my RXAB calls me) versus believing what he IS SHOWING ME. If I believe what I'm seeing and experiencing that means I have to leave and the dream of who I thought he was is over.
So would you rather have the continued pain and abuse you have ad for years or the pain and sadness that comes with ending a relationship? At least the pain that comes with leaving eventually stops hurting whereas the pain with staying will just get deeper.
Much love