It's hard. I was sober for 8 months and still relapsed. I somehow convinced myself that it would be all right, that this time, I could control it and have "just one" or "just a couple". It all seems so absurd now.
I am now on what I would call my second serious attempt at quitting. I'm only on my third day, but I have a good feeling about it this time.
Don't give up, we are all here for you and understand what you are going through. We can all do it together.