I couldn't believe that I had an alcoholic either Ryan. Try to remember that alcoholism is not a character defect, it's a disease. And, you can recover.
When the thoughts come to you to justify that you can have a drink or two, recognize that it is your addict-voice talking, often loudly, to you. It wants to destroy you and once you recognize that, you can hear it and let it go.
I'm glad you're back.
