Heck, I can understand why you need 4 xanax--you are trying to control way too much --and worse yet, you are trying control people and institutions you have absolutely no power over. You are King Alfred who stood on the beach and tried to get the waves to stop rolling in on the beach. It didn't work for him, and it won't work for you.
you are right. I'm figuring out every possible outcome with every decision to the point of "when are they going to change their underwear".
Ok, I'll slow down.