as I will with you luvstaz....I went to my first Alanon meeting last night and know I will go back. I think it is going to help me tremendously. Yes in the past I have always bowed down to AH when he went on his tirades...usually just stood there and said nothing because if I did it made things worse or he wouldn't let me finish, etc. His reaction to me going to Alanon was a bit surprising but eye opening too!. I now realize how much in denial he is. I've known for a long time I can't do anything to change his drinking but I've never really understood the effect it has had on me and probably my daughters. It felt really, really good to just walk away from his tirade the other night while he ranted on. It was almost comical, childish in a way on his part. Good luck to you!
Last night and this morning were a bit less tense. I even got a kiss on the lips when he left for work this morning but I was the one to told him I loved him first...he did say it back...shrugs. I'm not sure whether to broach the subject with him again or just let it go...let him be the one to bring it up. I do need to tell him that him verbally attacking his daughter when she told him to be quiet is not acceptable. I will probably give it a couple more days...then tell him that...and the fact that I won't buy his beer at the grocery store each week anymore..it's all on him. Sometimes I wish he would just tell me he's leaving. I think it would be much easier for me to go through my own recovery without the stress of him being around. Again, I refuse to be the one to leave. If I leave it's me and the girls. with him it's just one person to move.
I know he upset my daughter by saying that. She was afraid to come home after Alanon yesterday for fear he would still be mad, etc. I told her not to worry that he probably wasn't but I was there for her. She had gotten a certificate in the mail from her college saying she made the Dean's list for the first semester. I was so proud of her and told her so. When she told her daddy...she didn't get much reaction and I know that hurt...he needs to know that. I've already put it in a frame for her and reiterated how proud I am of her. And he wonders why the girls don't feel close to him or want to talk to him etc.??? Hello????