Sometimes it takes something like this to spur us into action. Many of us have been where you are....the details may be a little different.....but the same nonetheless.
I love what Ann said and I can relate to it so well. Sometimes we are closing a door on a room that is already empty.....we just needed to peek in one more time to make sure. With my XAH and my son, I peeked into that empty room way more times than I should have but I just kept hoping to open that door to discover that it was fully furnished, warm and inviting.....but it was always still empty. That process is a part of denial.....and we only break through that when we're ready. And it takes however long it takes.
I love the saying "if two people tell you it's a horse, it's time to buy a saddle". But I seem to be one who needs to scoop some horse manure before it really sinks in.
Take care of you and your son. One day at a time.
gentle hugs
ke