Welcome, Mndisfam!
Olympia, you're right! Relief could be (and probably is) just around the corner, but you know it WON'T be there if you slip. I hate that you're going through all of that. Hormone crap is....well, crappy. There's just not much else to say for it.
Kam, I'm so excited for you with all of your new possibilities! Sounds really promising. I'll bet you're on pins and needles! I hope tomorrow is a wonderful day for you.
I saw the specialist today, and I have to have an endoscopy on Thursday. I'm sure it's probably nothing serious, but I'm scared. I just keep waiting. I just can't quite believe I can really come through this ok. I feel so guilty, because I know I don't deserve to, and right now it seems like I will. Things at home are fine, the kids don't seem to have noticed anything was ever wrong, training is going great, work is great.... It shouldn't be mine! I don't deserve any of this! The doctor goes on and on about my fabulously low pulse and blood pressure and how he can't figure out what could be the problem since I'm the picture of health. I'm just so scared that he'll get in there and find something horrible - a stomach full of cancer or something, and it will be time to pay for my choices. I would completely deserve it. And, of course, I want to drown that fear. And then I want to drown it some more to be sure it doesn't come back. Sounds crazy....I know.
Oh well....shouldn't borrow trouble and worry about things that may never happen. I had a good hill run tonight while my kids were at various lessons. That cleared my head a bit. My stomach isn't as bad tonight as last night, so maybe I can get a good night's sleep. That would probably help more than anything.
Sweet dreams all!