Thanks to everyone for the kind words. I'm crying right now because so many of you said 'well done for realising this young', I feel so sh*t about myself and am having a hard time taking the compliment. I am going to take all the support I can get though, and after watching my mother battling so hard to stay alive I feel the least I can do to honour her (and myself) is not to kill myself with booze. There is a very small feeling of excitement growing in my head when I consider the future without drink. I want to nurture that. Thanks again everyone!