hello stressedwife! I've been following your story and I hope you stand firm seeing it will get a lot harder as you begin to find yourself. Isn't it wonderful to have kids that love you so much and stand behind you? My kids told me the same thing about why didn't I leave him a long time ago. I think our kids probably see the picture a lot clearer than we do so we are truly blessed. I've been divorced now for 9 months and I wish I could tell you it's been nothing but roses, it has not been, but it's been the most freeing in spirit and body since I think I first met my XAH. I work on myself with going to therapy, reading and finding out what makes me tick, so it's hard work but you know I think I'm worth it! and so are you!