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Old 04-11-2012, 07:45 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
celticgenes
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: ny/nj
Posts: 182
Hello, and welcome to SR. I needed to separate what my issues were from what my A's issues were. His issue is his alcohol abuse. My issue is whether or not I choose to live with and/or enable an active addict.

I am concerned that you wonder "what his reaction will be" to your going to Al anon. IMHO, it's best to go to Al anon for yourself. Not to shake him up, make him think, get him to change. It's for YOU, and your health. And the health of your children. I'm the adult child of an A, it leaves lasting scars.

A good first start may be to stop buying the beer. It's the easiest obvious choice to stop enabling his drinking. But as others have said, beware. Letting an A experience the consequences of their drinking can escalate abuse.

You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it

But you can take care of yourself, and decide what you want your life to look like. Baby steps! Good luck!
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