Originally Posted by
stressedwife 
I am going to talk to both daughters about attending an Alanon meeting with me and go from there. It will be interesting to see hubby's face when I tell him where we are going. Wonder what he will say...how I will react. I know that slowly I am pushing back at him when he lashes out at me. I"m tired of taking it and tired of living in that fear. I honestly don't know why I didn't leave him way back when. It is a slow process isn't it.
My path of recovery started at a Thurs eve Al-anon meeting. Then I found another meeting on a Saturday morning where nearly everyone went out for coffee and a chat after. Sometimes a few would arrange an afternoon at the cinema. I started to enjoy becoming more social and getting out the house and away from the drinking. A few months later, I joined an acapella choir who were very social and organised lots of get together s and trips away.
My AH was a bit taken back to begin with and became much more controlling about silly things like how I stacked the dishwasher or if I didn't take my bath quick enough after drawing the bath! He accused me of belonging to a cult and would huff and puff about the books that I was reading. All the time, I was growing stronger in health, mind and spirit.
My top recommendations for books would be:
Under the Influence by James Milan and Katherine Ketcham (For Empathy)
Codependent No more by Melody Beattie (Why you dont put yourself first)
Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft (covers verbal abuse, anger and controlling)
The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evens (How to recognise it and respond)
So pleased that you found SR Stressedwife - welcome once again.