Originally Posted by
Skye10 
I must be dealing with a lot of grief over our relationship ending and I am not dealing with it very well. I do know my exA is not someone I want in my life, nor the man I want to marry some day, but I miss him very much...I miss the good things about him. I have been doing all kinds of things to keep myself focused on the reasons I left him to begin with ie-reading my old posts, journaling, listening to old voice mails that aren't too nice, playing the tape all the way through etc etc. but I have this pit in my stomach and have been crying all day thinking about him and missing him.
I know this too shall pass, but I told my therapist about this forum and she said it sounded very positive, and if I get too down about missing him, to not be afraid to post. So here I am, posting away lol.
I know I am stronger then this, I almost feel ashamed that I can't let the thoughts of him and I together go. I know that I deserve better.
A friend told me she saw him on a few dating sites, and I think that really triggered all of this. I can't believe he has already moved on. Even though I know deep down inside, he is not capable of real love, he is just seeking out a new "victim" but it still hurts. I just wish my mind would STOP thinking about him...
I don't think there's anything wrong with missing him. There were probably times where things were good between the two of you, and that's the stuff you're hanging on to. It's natural. But you have to understand that so long as he's in active addiction, he can't sustain a loving relationship. He's not capable.
As far as him on dating sites goes, it is what it is, and that tells me (on the surface) that he's looking outside himself to find something to make him happy. And that never works.
So...feel what you feel. It's really OK. Sit with it, acknowledge it, and move forward the best you can...little by little...one moment at a time if need be. And keep doing what you need to do to be healthy. And, yes, this too shall pass...
ZoSo