Your story is quite similar to mine. I have recently decided that I will work on my own health and happiness and let him decide whether or not to work on his. I have set a couple of boundaries and am determined to stick by them. One of the main ones is that I will no longer "pick him up some beer while I'm out". It just hit me one day when he asked me to do that. I had been telling him that I thought he was drinking too much, but he asked me to get him some beer while I was getting groceries. I just said, "get your own beer." That was that. He didn't ask me again. I also find things to do that I enjoy if I see that he's drinking excessively. He knows I will do this. I choose to stay in the marriage for now, because the good does actually outweigh the bad, but I will no longer subject myself to verbal abuse. I don't deserve it! Sometimes all it takes is for me to say, "That was uncalled for" when he snaps at me about something. Then I walk away.
This may not be a perfect situation, I don't think there is such a thing, but I'm doing the best I can for me. Coming here to vent and read is also something that has turned my life around. I am only in control of my own actions and nothing I do or say to him will make him change his drinking. I didn't cause it, can't cure it, and can't control it.
Take care of yourself and let others do the same. It's so much less stressful that way.