stressedwife

I don't have an alcohol problem but my husband does. We've been married for 29 years, together for 30, and all that time he has been a drinker. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but a drinker nonetheless. Back in the early days of being together he could be verbally abusive, not always, but enough to have an effect on me. Over the years of his drinking, with things that have happened in the past, I've come to hate to be around him when he drinks for fear of the verbal abuse repeating itself. He is much better about that these days, but that doesn't erase the past and how it made me feel. He used to drink liquor until he found out he had diabetes, then he changes to lite beer. He drinks anywhere from 8-12 beers a night when he comes home from work. This he does on an empty stomach and he literally sucks them down, drinking that many in about a 3-hour period. I did confront him a while back about his drinking. I told him I didn't like being around him when he drank for fear of past incidents repeating themselves. I told him how much he was drinking a night and of course he said it wasn't that much. He also said those past incidents wouldn't happen again. Thing is, you never know what might set him off. He's been known to go off on me verbally about something and I have no clue as to why, what or anything. All I can do is just stand there until he's done. There is no discussing things when he's drunk. We have 2 girls, 22 and 18, and they both are very aware of his drinking. My youngest has a boyfriend and she doesn't want him to come to the house because of her Daddy's drinking. He has been over before several times and she asked me to ask her Daddy not to drink while he was here, but that didn't work. He drank right on as he usually does. So now she won't invite him over anymore. This makes me very sad. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I'm just so tired of dealing with the stress of it I don't know if I have it in me to help him quit, etc. I've seriously considered leaving him many times, but financially I don't think I can. I"ve come to hate the nights both kids are gone and it's just me and him. Basically that means he's in the garage drinking and smoking, watching TV etc while I"m in the house. I used to drink when we first go together but have basically quit because of him. My only vices now are smoking...and eating, which I hate. I can't seem to get control of anything and I don't know if it's me...or him...or a combination of the two. I would appreciate anybody's insight on my situation.