Welcome to the forum Suzzi,
Something in your mind has to change, the idea of not drinking sounds great until we have been sober a few days weeks etc…
I think a decision has to be made deep inside that says “I’m ready”, then really dig deep and make that promise to yourself that you are done drinking forever, never to drink again, no matter what.
It’s not the easiest thing you will ever do, but it may be the most important…
Keep reading and posting,