Originally Posted by
macknacat 
Langkah said it "choice" - my disease wants to KILL me....AA [and NA] gave me the means to change that slow suicidal dynamic.
And for me, that meant [and still means] that i do the WHOLE deal- meetings, sponsor, steps, service- no more of my old shortcuts , excuses, procrastinations, BS. Just get in there and work it like my ass was on fire....
Yes! This is where I am also. No way can I quit on my own, I need people who "get it", and the tools of recovery that AA offers; the book, sponsor, steps, and since I'm pretty new, service in small ways like making coffee, connecting with people, setting up chairs, helping to clean up after the meeting.
It's been
very different for me to ask for help and take direction. I struggle with the direction part; "nobody tells me what to do", but trying to catch that old thinking and turn it around and it seems to be working. I never did that before in AA or NA. It's made a difference. Good luck to you, LifeBlows.