That is tough. I had 2 children with my AB and left him while pregnant with the second. Your situation sounds very similar to mine, only I ended up getting back together and marrying my AH. Please don't do what I did!! I convinced myself that family life could "fix" my AH and boy was I wrong! In hindsight I think that I left him out of anger and when I realized that I still loved him I thought the logical thing to do was to get back together. (He was supposedly clean for 4 months. In retrospect I don't think he was actually clean the whole time.) I now realize that I can love him and not want to live with him. I think you are better off like that. Thanks for sharing!