Hey everyone so glad i found this site it has took alot of soul searching to come here and speak of all this so bare wth me ...
i was 25 years of age yesterday and have been drinking and doing other things since the age of 15. The group i was bought up with everything revolved around booze no matter how small the occasion alcohol and drugs were the first things on our minds, and i want to say i was never forced into anything no peer pressure every mistake ive ever made is mine alone nobody elses. from the ages of 15 to 21 the drinking and booze were non stop i managed a relationship for 4 years in this time span but she also lived the same lifestyle i did, who didnt right or so i thought.
i was diagnosed with severe panic disorder when i was 21 and put on all sorts of meds but alcohol was still my number one crutch, from 21 onwards the drugs wore off but the alcohol increased tenfold i was always the worst out of my group a right jekyll and hyde syndrome but i was the loveable rogue everyone wanted at the party so i have never even thought about stopping alcohol even the mind blowing panic attacks i would put down to something else and keep drinking.
i have had family, friends tell me to cut down and stop before but ive never listened why should i i dont have a problem. now i have met this amazing girl who im currently dating and she is the best thing to ever happen to me (she does not drink atall) yet i still carried on getting drunk and being a general idiot. this all culminated in a 5 day bender which ended up with me feeling so low and depressed on tuesday i thought this is it i have to stop the world,my friends, my beautiful gf they arent all wrong i am i have a serious problem and its borderline if not full alcoholism and i know this now...
well it was my birthday as i said yesterday and it was the hardest experience of my life being sober all my friends were looking at me like i was a witch cus i wasnt smasheds out my face, but with the help of my gf i did not touch a single drop and have now been sober for 6 days and am so proud of myself yesterday was the biggest test and i do have confidence in myself i know its going to be hard, really hard but thats why i joined this site.
i know there will be times i get cravings and im going to come on here and ramble because i truly believe all it takes is a few words of encouragment off people sometimes to keep me on the straight line ...
llPandall