Originally Posted by
hardy 
No one has to ever agree that a person is making right decision to kill themselves, most likely they aren't but its important to understand that this may be a rational decision and try to understand their point of view.
Your definition of rationality is clouded by your depression. Just because you can maintain a line of thought without drooling out the corner of your mouth & blinking rapidly doesn't mean your head's in the right place. And I'm not faulting you for this - we all have our inner demons to struggle with. But stop pretending you're thinking clearly. You're not. If you really want to help yourself, you need to come to terms with your problems. Not delude yourself into thinking you're 'fine' when it's obvious to both yourself & everyone else you're not. Suicide is never rational.
You need help. There's no shame in that. You're surrounded in these forums, in your life, and in this world by countless others just like you. People who at one time also felt there was no way out. Have you read their stories - read about the happiness they've found? Or are you too busy trying to justify your pain to learn of the hope that awaits you?
Please - stop playing these mind games with yourself & others, and seek out help. You're absolutely right - you can lead a happy life. But it's going to take commitment and effort. And most importantly, it's going to take the intervention of others. Where you're at right now - you can't see where you need to go. Others, who have been there themselves, thus knowing the path, can help you find your direction.
Get help - now. It can change your life. What, exactly, would you lose now by going to rehab? How could things possibly get any worse when you're toying with suicide? Are you afraid you might find a reason to live? Because I think you just might. Don't give up on yourself.
BTW - Did you know that acetaminophen-induced liver damage can be essentially stopped in its tracks (and reversed) if you're treated for it within 48 hours? Go to a doctor NOW. Time is absolutely of the essence with something like this.