Noone, first you need a new name!!! While you feel like this now, you will not continue to feel like this unless you keep using or you give up hope. We have all been where you are at, and most of us on here have medical conditions or chronic pain, or both. Please please please, talk to someone, get some help. You are not noone, you are someone that is in need of help. We are here for you, stay strong.